Compulsory hospitalization and trauma

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• Hi. I signed up to find those affected and write about the fact that I was admitted involuntarily for the second time.
• I am being bullied at the facility and am at the mercy of bullying. I was also restrained and sedated for no reason. I have been subjected to violence since childhood (not always directly bullying, but definitely abuse, abandonment, being left alone...) and through psychiatry and the staff who slap me.
• You are stigmatized as mentally ill and are supposed to swallow toxic waste that really makes you sick in the long run. I have no one to help me out, so I have to somehow sit it out and listen to the nurses and sick sisters sharing brothel conversations and gossip and insults to patients at the top of their lungs.
• I am perceived here as ugly, weird and smelly just as I am outside (which was my problem: I can't build social contacts and support with this body, I don't know why but people find my body repulsive, especially the face) and I am poor or even poorer, because I don't have any fresh clothes either.
• I am completely on my own and I really couldn't make contact with fellow patients either. Only one who also regards her medication as toxic waste that made her ill, but which she takes, I still have contact with via text message. We want to meet up, but I don't really have any hope and it doesn't take away the pain of being constantly rejected.
• Actually, I was hoping to die peacefully soon. The people who work in the mental hospital have it pretty good, while people like me, who are considered needy, only suffer. We're really like pharmaceutical pigs for them, sad.
• How can you recover from that? I don't think you can, unfortunately I don't have anyone to hold me and just be there. I never had anything like that, only violence.
• I got to know life from one of its worst sides without having earned it.
• The last few weeks have been such a waste, without any real joy, it was just torture. I hope I can get out soon, but then I'll just be released into the environment that previously caused me problems from the neighbors who make noise and smell and also pose a physical threat.
• They didn't even recognize the living will and I don't have a lawyer because of poverty, nobody is interested. My life is a complete misery. I tried to get basic security after my first stay in a women's refuge. I'm trying to get rehab/treatment but will that help against this trauma?
• Actually, I would need at least one person who likes me, but the problem is that there seems to be no one like that. How do you deal with such negative events? Abandoned, marginalized, insulted, ignored, attacked, defiled, locked up, defamed, poisoned, drugged, beaten... that's what other people have done to me so far. There was hardly anyone who showed love, actually no one.
• It is cruel that no one cared about the fact that I was forcibly committed and continue to suffer this detention. The SPDI worker had often smirked. The judges, guardians and senior physicians, but also nurses and sick sisters here know that they have ruined my life.
• Where and what am I supposed to do with this mental hospital story in my life? I am supposed to force myself into the role of the sick, if it is up to them, like in the GDR or Nazi Germany times. Ok it's not that extreme here, but unfortunately a lot of it is still as cruel and just as cruelly motivated.
• The people who work here are the bullies from school and kindergarten. They have made great progress in life, have found their nieches, but someone like me is their food, or at least the host through whom their food gets on the table. The whole system is so terrible. I am always so alone and worried about myself, because no one else cares. It has made me withdrawn for years, disinterested in many things, envious, sad and angry about how others treat me.
• With this body, I am denied the chance to at least get love in return once. Nobody is on my side, everyone is against me. Who wants a life like that, it's not a life at all.
• After many nights without sleep, I may have had 5 nights in a total of 4 weeks in which I was not woken up every 20 minutes or was lying wide awake until 6 in the morning because someone was snoring.
• Otherwise, the past few days were marked by the derogatory comments and treatment of the staff and even some physical attacks. They often let older, senile patients intrude into my room, and some of these men tried to hit me, but the staff just told me to change my words. You are not seen as a human being here, unfortunately I also know that from the outside. Nobody has pity and I am afraid of becoming homeless and raped. I'm already defamed and have no one. I mean really no one.
• It's hard to take care of yourself there, I don't know what I'm still doing here because you're only mistreated by others. I can't get excited about books and games anymore either, it's all just stupid entertainment, a pointless distraction and support in a plight that I didn't want and don't want.
• I would love to take revenge and then leave. I can catch one person, the others are too far away and too well protected. It's a shame that I had to live such a bad life. For many, I was just a stupid laughing stock.

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Do you know the story of Gustl Mollath?

(from Wikipedia)


Gustl Ferdinand Mollath (born November 7, 1956 in Nuremberg) is a victim of the Bavarian justice system. In 2006, he was committed to a psychiatric hospital by order of the court for several alleged crimes, despite having been found by experts to be legally incapable of guilt. After several instances had confirmed this commitment for five years, massive doubts arose in 2011 about the accusations against Mollath and the rule of law of the proceedings. After a successful retrial, Mollath was acquitted again in 2014 in a new trial, but this time it was found that the conditions for a placement (at the time of the new trial) did not exist.


The case was the subject of heated public debate, not only because of the direct accusations against Gustl Mollath, but also because of the allegations of illegal transactions involving employees of the present-day Unicredit Bank, the suspicion that his wife had accused him falsely, and the serious accusations against politicians, the judiciary and court experts. There was a general discussion about the placement in psychiatric hospitals. A 2016 change in the law that improved the rights of people committed to psychiatric hospitals was seen by some as a reaction to the case.


Since the judiciary never fully investigated the allegations of embezzlement, there was also speculation that Mollath had become the victim of a cover-up – especially since a 2012 audit report by the bank found irregularities that confirmed Mollath's allegations, as far as they could be verified.


In 2018, Mollath filed claims for damages against the Free State of Bavaria, which, in November 2019, after a settlement, led to an additional 600,000 euros in compensation, on top of the 70,000 euros he had already received.