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Hello dear community,
The situation at work is wearing me down and I'm wondering whether I'm being bullied by my boss. My boss is a loud character who likes to be the center of attention and be recognized. I did that at the beginning and actually admired him for a lot of things and his management. We got on really well together. Even back then, I noticed that he often “goes for one person” and gets rid of employees he doesn't like. Out of 9 occupied positions, only one has remained in the last 3 years, others have been sick for a long time or have been transferred/quit. In addition, he shouts loudly down the corridor, addresses certain people, searches all the rooms etc. and wants to have control over everything. Several people have already tried to report him to his superior, but he has a good position there. At some point about a year ago, I reached the point where I stopped coming to work (social area) with a fever or similar just to cover for staff and to please them. I have to say that I am still in training. Suddenly he changed drastically. It started with inciting my practice supervisor against me, saying that I was doing tasks wrong, which wasn't true, and gossiping about me with colleagues. After that, he started ignoring me more, not looking at me or talking to me. There were new lockers and everyone got one except me. He also complained to colleagues that my things were in the way. I once called in sick, which meant an appointment had to be canceled, and he printed out my email and passed it around the office with the words “you can see where the priorities lie”. “Hello” or “goodbye” have long since ceased to exist; when I arrive and greet him, he just looks at his watch. In one meeting, the subject was clothing, which was not a professional issue. He said “when I imagine XX (me) in high heels, I think of a clumsy farmer's wife on stilts”. That was the point for me where I sat on the toilet crying. A few months later, I call in sick and he laughs mockingly on the phone, doesn't wait and says “ok bye”. Since I was absent, he deliberately tried to incite a colleague against me, saying that her training course had to be canceled for the third time because of me and that it was my fault. Otherwise, he often comes into the group during work, stares into the room and slams the door again, which makes me feel very insecure. But also the “silence” and ignoring me by not looking at/speaking to me in meetings and always discussing all important information that goes directly to me with my colleague when I'm on break. In the team, he regularly mixes up the teams as soon as people get on well with each other and makes up gossip individually, so that colleagues sometimes shout at each other. I've now reached the point where I can't sleep at night before work, feel completely cold and empty inside when I'm there and start crying on the way back. I've somehow become the focus of attention and I'm wondering whether this is bullying or whether I'm too sensitive? I'm at my wits end and just the thought of having to go there makes me feel so incredibly uncomfortable. It's all about “getting through the time” and when the week is over I usually need the whole weekend to regain my perception and feelings because I feel so empty.
Translated with DeepL.... (free version)
The situation at work is wearing me down and I'm wondering whether I'm being bullied by my boss. My boss is a loud character who likes to be the center of attention and be recognized. I did that at the beginning and actually admired him for a lot of things and his management. We got on really well together. Even back then, I noticed that he often “goes for one person” and gets rid of employees he doesn't like. Out of 9 occupied positions, only one has remained in the last 3 years, others have been sick for a long time or have been transferred/quit. In addition, he shouts loudly down the corridor, addresses certain people, searches all the rooms etc. and wants to have control over everything. Several people have already tried to report him to his superior, but he has a good position there. At some point about a year ago, I reached the point where I stopped coming to work (social area) with a fever or similar just to cover for staff and to please them. I have to say that I am still in training. Suddenly he changed drastically. It started with inciting my practice supervisor against me, saying that I was doing tasks wrong, which wasn't true, and gossiping about me with colleagues. After that, he started ignoring me more, not looking at me or talking to me. There were new lockers and everyone got one except me. He also complained to colleagues that my things were in the way. I once called in sick, which meant an appointment had to be canceled, and he printed out my email and passed it around the office with the words “you can see where the priorities lie”. “Hello” or “goodbye” have long since ceased to exist; when I arrive and greet him, he just looks at his watch. In one meeting, the subject was clothing, which was not a professional issue. He said “when I imagine XX (me) in high heels, I think of a clumsy farmer's wife on stilts”. That was the point for me where I sat on the toilet crying. A few months later, I call in sick and he laughs mockingly on the phone, doesn't wait and says “ok bye”. Since I was absent, he deliberately tried to incite a colleague against me, saying that her training course had to be canceled for the third time because of me and that it was my fault. Otherwise, he often comes into the group during work, stares into the room and slams the door again, which makes me feel very insecure. But also the “silence” and ignoring me by not looking at/speaking to me in meetings and always discussing all important information that goes directly to me with my colleague when I'm on break. In the team, he regularly mixes up the teams as soon as people get on well with each other and makes up gossip individually, so that colleagues sometimes shout at each other. I've now reached the point where I can't sleep at night before work, feel completely cold and empty inside when I'm there and start crying on the way back. I've somehow become the focus of attention and I'm wondering whether this is bullying or whether I'm too sensitive? I'm at my wits end and just the thought of having to go there makes me feel so incredibly uncomfortable. It's all about “getting through the time” and when the week is over I usually need the whole weekend to regain my perception and feelings because I feel so empty.
Translated with DeepL.... (free version)
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