Loneliness in old age, are we seniors to blame ? Does Covid make our lives even duller ?

[Senior Erfahrenes Forumsmitglied Alle Beiträge durchsuchen Profil ansehen Schließen Senior]

Am I really lonely ? I am involved in various social activities, I go to sports twice a week and I am an active member of a club for the elderly. Nevertheless I feel lonely. Especially on the weekends a cold emptiness creeps up inside me. I have been trying for years to find a partner to bridge this void.
But first came Covid 19. Many events were canceled, contacts limited. With the sport it became difficult and the weekends became even more boring.
Finding a partner became almost impossible. Without events, clubs, restaurant visits, the possibilities of getting to know each other are very limited.
What remains is the Internet. But especially there it is not easy to find suitable partner. It is not difficult to find 500 friends on facebook. But are they really friends? Or just soulless clicks and lappish smilies ?
I try to describe here my experiences with getting to know to inform others, but also to get an overview for myself. Maybe I will also find solutions that help me and others out of the loneliness of age.

I start with my experiences on facebook .

[Senior Erfahrenes Forumsmitglied Alle Beiträge durchsuchen Profil ansehen Schließen Senior]

my experiences on facebook

I have about 200 "friends" on facebook. I thought I would describe my problem. Maybe there is a woman there who has a similar problem. First of all, I noticed that the reactions were very cold or extremely silly.
Answers like: "cut the crap" or "how do we know each other anyway" were the order of the day. Then there were a few smileys. And that was it. Only two people reacted halfway sensibly. Unfortunately, one person lived very far away and the other had a jealous boyfriend.
What was all the activity for ? Pastime, nothing else. I don't know how it works for younger people, but for seniors facebook doesn't seem to do much.
What I have also noticed is a tremendous distrust and a great willingness to just write nonsense.
One woman commented on my information several times with smileys and other little pictures, about 20 of them. When I sent her a message via Messenger, she literally replied: "I unsubscribed from Facebook months ago, what do you want?
What can I say to that ?
Well, Facebook was a complete flop. Messenger contacts were made, but never led to a personal meeting. Anyone who believes that the internet brings people closer together will be disappointed.

What can be expected from getting to know someone in person? I will write about this in my next article

[Senior Erfahrenes Forumsmitglied Alle Beiträge durchsuchen Profil ansehen Schließen Senior]

The Covid requirements have prevented many a leisure activity. Let's leave that aside for a moment.
I'm not a social loafer! I go to the theatre, art exhibitions, restaurants, botanical gardens. I also like to go for walks, especially to rivers, lakes, or, if possible, the sea. I am also in clubs and do sports. In fact, I am open to any leisure activity.
You might think that getting to know each other shouldn't be a problem.
Yes, but that's not the case. Older ladies are busy with their children and grandchildren first. Married women, that's a hot topic. I'd rather leave that out. But, hope dies last:
So eventually you do meet someone. Very likeable. Lots of common interests. The first date is arranged: on Monday? Not possible, doctor's appointment. Tuesday, the grandchildren are there. Wednesday, I'm singing. Thursday, I have a big garden. Friday, maybe. Saturday, a friend is coming and Sunday my son is here.
This has happened to me not once, not twice, but practically every time. Once it worked until I got the call: I'm in hospital, I sprained my knee.
You think that's satire? But unfortunately it wasn't.
What can I do?
Should I seek my fortune through a professional dating agency ?

[von Klarenfeld besonders erfahrenes Mitglied Alle Beiträge durchsuchen Profil ansehen Schließen von Klarenfeld]

"my experiences on facebook"

...I have about 200 "friends" on facebook. I thought I would describe my problem. Maybe there is a woman there who has a similar problem. First of all, I noticed that the reactions were very cold or extremely silly.
Answers like: "cut the crap" or "how do we know each other anyway" were the order of the day. Then there were a few smileys to go with it....

This is in line with my experience with facebook, although I am a woman. Besides the self-promoters, who even report on their lunch with a photo, there are a lot of jokers. If you express feelings, the ridicule of these people is immediate.
So, senior, you are not the only one who has problems. Keep reporting to us, even if this is not a typical bullying issue. .

[Peplomer Forumsmitglied Alle Beiträge durchsuchen Profil ansehen Schließen Peplomer]

Will Covid 19 make our lives even duller ?

We can only arrange our lives to a limited extent. Corona has changed and limited living together and contact possibilities very much. Senior writes that facebook was not much help for him. I fully agree with that ! I'm curious how it goes further in his search for a partner.

[Translatorix besonders erfahrenes Mitglied Alle Beiträge durchsuchen Profil ansehen Schließen Translatorix]

--- Quote from Senior
Getting to know each other personally

Covid requirements have prevented many a leisure activity. Let's leave that out of the equation.
Yes, but that is not so. Older ladies are busy with their children and grandchildren first. Married women, that's a hot topic. I'd rather leave that out. But, hope dies last:
So eventually you do meet someone. Very likeable. Lots of common interests. The first date is arranged: on Monday? Not possible, doctor's appointment. Tuesday, the grandchildren are there. Wednesday, I'm singing. Thursday, I have a big garden. Friday, maybe. Saturday, a friend is coming and Sunday my son is here.
This has happened to me not once, not twice, but practically every time. Once it worked until I got the call: I'm in hospital, I sprained my knee.
You think that's satire? But unfortunately it wasn't.
What can I do?
Should I look for happiness through a professional dating agency ? ---

Hello Senior, I have had similar experiences. Unfortunately I am not as eloquent as you. It will help me if you also write about getting to know partner agencies. Otherwise I don't see any chance for me. Thanks to you in advance.

[Senior Erfahrenes Forumsmitglied Alle Beiträge durchsuchen Profil ansehen Schließen Senior]

Based on Adi's invitation, I would like to approach the topic, although highly emotional, first with logic and common sense. My experience: Getting to know someone has to be learned. Simply running at it hardly ever leads to a satisfactory result.
Getting to know someone through advertisements or dating agencies is not easy.
The creation of a suitable text for an advertisement makes certain demands on your formulation skills. Which partner do you want ? How important is the appearance, age, education, family circumstances, etc.? Then there is the information about yourself. Should you stick to the truth: fat, old, bald?
Let's search the Internet:

Result after calling up various websites / apps :

Love! Successful man, 70 y., retired, 175 cm, 99 kg, star sign Cancer, non-drinker, non-smoker, looking for female, 60 to 75 years old, interests: Animals, computer and walking, am loving and young at heart, you should be loving too, prefer normal to plump stature, from 150 to 175 cm, am retired, life partnership would be possible, if you have courage, then contact me! Contact: by e-mail

My comment to this computer-generated ad : the beginning ( love! ) is a bit poor. The rest would be ok for an ad.

[Senior Erfahrenes Forumsmitglied Alle Beiträge durchsuchen Profil ansehen Schließen Senior]

Now the search begins on the Internet. Text for search engine: Would like to meet woman over 60 in XXX area.

[iceberg Sehr erfahrenes Forumsmitglied Alle Beiträge durchsuchen Profil ansehen Schließen iceberg]

Loneliness in old age, are we seniors only to blame ? - a provocative headline. But you are working on this topic. I'm curious to see what comes out of it, as long as the moderator doesn't move you to the forum basement for missing the point.
La solitude chez les personnes âgées, est-ce notre faute à nous, les seniors ? - un titre provocateur. Mais tu travailles sur ce thème. Je suis curieux de voir ce qui en ressortira, pour autant que la modératrice ne te relègue pas dans la cave du forum pour cause de hors-sujet.

[Moderatorin Moderatorin Alle Beiträge durchsuchen Profil ansehen Schließen Moderatorin]

We have no problem in the bullying forum with the topic "Senior seeks woman in the hard times of Corona"

[Laterne Forumsmitglied Alle Beiträge durchsuchen Profil ansehen Schließen Laterne]

One would think 2 women to a man ( purely statistically ) that is good for the "old man". In fact, the old ladies feel drained by life, the children ( sons ! ) are jealous and then they think they have to wash clothes for a man again. So they prefer to stay alone and whine to themselves !

[Amur Forumsmitglied Alle Beiträge durchsuchen Profil ansehen Schließen Amur]

I'm not that old to be able to really judge that. But sex is a very important part of a relationship. Does that fall away in old age, or become unimportant?
As for women of the older generation who think they have to take care of a man, they are simply too lazy to learn. The current situation has changed fundamentally. Those who have not understood this, whether women or men, are subject to Gorbachev's saying: life punishes those who come too late. In other words, he remains alone and can be happy about it if he gets on well with it, while I amuse the others. Wisdom of a tested man. as long as I have two healthy hands, no woman comes into my house.

[Ballermann Forumsmitglied Alle Beiträge durchsuchen Profil ansehen Schließen Ballermann]

I am not a senior now, but I have noticed that it is really difficult to find a partner when you are doing poorly. Could lead some people to despise the opposite sex because of this superficiality !

[Senior Erfahrenes Forumsmitglied Alle Beiträge durchsuchen Profil ansehen Schließen Senior]

So - sorry! I met by chance a charming woman. On the street. The middleman was her dog!
And that was it, all the matchmaking agencies and facebook etc. were out of the picture!
That's how life works! Keep your eyes open, the unexpected often happens!