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In calendar year 2019, I; female and currently ... years old, suddenly found myself in a relationship of several months with a narcissist. Having had no previous contact with narcissistic individuals, I did not initially register how dangerous and psychologically stressful a partnership with such a person comes across, who persistently guided by a narcissistic disorder pattern, bullied me, humiliated me, belittled me, and inflicted psychological violence on me. The experiences I had to make during this relationship, which lasted about 6 months, unfortunately left a lasting impression on me and attacked my self-confidence.
Especially the permanent lack of empathy he demonstrated towards me and his transfigured self-perception without any awareness of illness; which stylized him in his eyes to an almost infallible being including a utopian exaggerated concept of self-perception, have disturbed me permanently. Who in this forum has had to go through similar experiences and how did you deal with the corresponding situation and the after-effects on your psyche? Did you seek therapeutic help?
In the phase of getting to know each other, he was very attentive and courteous to me and showered me with compliments about my appearance. At the beginning of our relationship, this state of affairs quickly turned into pure egoism. I was increasingly irritated by his seemingly endless monologues, which always focused on his outstanding professional achievements and his attractiveness. His exaggerated desire for admiration quickly developed into a disruptive factor for our relationship. If I did not meet his expectations sufficiently in his eyes or if I did not admire him for his qualities, he acknowledged this with derogatory remarks about my person, which degraded and belittled me. Unmeasured criticism of me and lectures soon dominated our get-togethers, so that I felt increasingly worthless. It was not until I came into contact with the topic of narcissism in the context of a professional training course that I understood what a dangerous partnership I was in and finally decided to leave this relationship.