My ex-partner makes my life hell. It's just terrible because I have nowhere to rest from him.

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My ex-partner makes my life hell. It's just terrible because I have nowhere to rest from him.


My ex-partner makes my life hell. It's just awful because I have nowhere my peace from him. He writes me dozens of messages a day, telling me how sorry he is for everything, how much he loves me and how much he wants to be with me again. I have to say that he cheated on me several times during our relationship. I had the feeling that I was the last to know.

He thought a few erotic recordings of me in our relationship and now threatens to send them to my new employer. I am afraid that he will carry out this threat, but I still don't want to bow to his pressure, because he really wants to go on a date with me in a public place. For me, this would not be such a big problem now, as long as we meet in a public area. The problem is, however, if I follow this, I am sure that he will immediately feel that everything is fine again and he will immediately feel everything my partner again. He doesn't seem to care much about the fact that I'm taken in the meantime.

Do you have a tip for me, how I should behave? There are surely other women, which got into such a predicament. Thank you in advance!

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I was in a pretty toxic relationship. Not for long, but it took an incredible amount of strength to free myself from it. Right at the beginning I had the impression that my new partner had very narcissistic traits. But that was not enough. He was, or still is, highly intelligent, which made his narcissistic streak even more dangerous for me. Even now, I keep lapsing into thoughts and feelings that I miss him and his closeness. I often wonder if I misjudged him. No different. I wonder what I could and should have done differently. But for what? For our love? Our relationship? Our togetherness? He tried to make me emotionally dependent on him. If I was happy, he made sure that I felt bad and miserable, because I did something wrong, which just came to his mind. If I was unhappy, he was the one who built me up again. But only him. No one else. All others were not good for me and so he also tried to influence and undermine my relationships. In his intelligent narcissistic way. I have always felt it but to accept it and want to admit it, that is always another pair of shoes. It's not long ago and I still so often fall into old behavior patterns, would like to write to him, only to wait for his not coming answer. If he does get in touch, I can't wait too long for an answer. It is not easy. But I continue to work on not giving him any more power over me. Because love is partnership at eye level, not oppression. Not narcissism. Not what he tried to do to me.