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Dear forum,
I have suffered from complex post-traumatic stress disorder since childhood. My developmental trauma resulted from the war traumatization of my parents, who were both absent without treatment, internally shattered and chaotic as a result of the terrible war atrocities they experienced as children.
Unfortunately, my life is still characterized by fear and panic, despite many years of therapy.
In 2019, I finally dared to take the step of applying for a degree of disability. When I started working for an IT authority in Lower Saxony in 2021, I was overjoyed, but my happiness was short-lived. My line manager J**** had also entrusted me with tasks from his project manager to save his head. I was given tasks that I couldn't manage with my profession. I had to coordinate closely with the project manager and therefore had to work from 7 a.m. to 10 p.m., which is why I fell ill. The Working Hours Protection Act was violated several times and the duty of care was neglected, which nobody cares about, not even the court. After I came back from my illness, I was given a personnel appointment. I didn't know what it was about at all, I was only given the option of whether the representative body for severely disabled employees should be present. When I said yes, I was told that they didn't know what it was about, but that they wanted to part with me. During the interview, I faced various accusations, for example that I hadn't worked, only made mistakes and had jeopardized IT.N's reputation. I was blindsided because I had never been told before that they were not satisfied with my performance. Mr. *** also told me that I wasn't capable of putting my horsepower on the road. The blow stung and damaged me deeply. When I tried to respond to the accusations, Mr. **** suddenly started laughing and rolling his eyes to show me how stupid I was being. The HR manager, Ms. T****, then cut me off. After the interview, I had a breakdown and was unable to work for a year. I registered as unemployed on time and filed applications, criminal charges for libel and slander and notified the state social welfare office, but nobody cared, maybe because of the pandemic?
In 2023, I was finally ready to go back to work, but then my nightmare began again. My old employer IT.N forgot to deregister me, although they continued to receive the payslips in-house. So instead of the employment agency paying me, I received other benefits, which I didn't notice because I was ill. When the mistake became known, I collapsed again and have been living in fear and panic ever since.
In 2023, I was finally ready to go back to work, but then my nightmare began again. My old employer IT.N forgot to deregister me, although they continued to receive my payslips at home. So instead of the employment agency paying me, I received other benefits, which I didn't notice because I was ill. When the mistake became known, I collapsed again and have been living in fear and panic ever since.
Due to my illness, I was no longer able to open my mail, so a default judgment was issued. When my mail was opened by a notary, I explained my point of view and my experiences and violations of the law. All my certificates were sent to the judge, Ms. ****, but everything was dismissed. My concerns were not heard again. I tried to lodge an appeal myself within the deadline, but I'm not a lawyer. Judge **** reasoning discriminates against my illness. She claims that despite medical diagnoses and certificates, I couldn't prove why I didn't act immediately. She also gave the wrong date for her reasoning, yet everything is legally valid, despite my objections. Because of my appeal, I thought I was in an open case, while the bailiffs who had been appointed were determined to enforce the judgment. Arrest warrants were issued against me and although I submitted a sick note from the street ambulance, a garnishment was initiated at my employer's by postal delivery certificate.
Due to the retroactive deregistration, I no longer have health insurance. Since then, I have been living in fear, panic and an absolute state of threat, as I have already told you. I was unable to defend myself against the verbal violence I experienced from Mr. **** in 2021 because nobody cared and now it is the same again in 2023, I am suffering without anyone being affected.
I am held solely responsible and have to bear the consequences for the mistakes of others alone. I sleep very badly, I'm scared every day. The person who made me ill in 2021 is allowed to do it again with impunity in 2023. For me, it's assault, but what else can I say if nobody cares. Maybe it's normal for sick people to be over-emotional and considered worth less?
Thank you very much for your sympathy.
Kind regards
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