Horror holiday 2022 - Partner problems on holiday - Heat waves in summer and their psychological effects on partnerships - the dybbuk strikes. Ironic view of a partner crisis

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Ironic view of a partner crisis during the corona pandemic and the heat waves of summer 2022

The dybbuk strikes

We start our vacation in a cheerful mood. On the last trip, blood had run out of my nose and I ended up in intensive care in a hospital in Tours. The Loire Valley was left as a valley of tears. But now it was, towards the sun, life is beautiful ! The sun did its best and it was already getting plenty warm, despite air conditioning in the vehicle. The second heat wave of this year was rolling in. Then came the destination, a double gîte on an organic farm near the sea. Organic always sounds good, although the term organic is not protected. Unfortunately, my partner had neglected to tell me that there was no real flush toilet, only a dry toilet. But, one accepts these small inconveniences gladly, if for it, quasi as a reward, a beautiful and inexpensive vacation waits. Well, it is warm, very warm, even in the evening. The journey was exhausting, it is hot and the room doors remain open. Warm is good, sultry is not. One dozes off in the balmy night and is surprised when suddenly, around midnight, a machine apparently starts up and disturbs the night's rest. No, the gîte was not located in an industrial area. It was the partner, who gave a perfect imitation of a device, combined from electric saw and percussion drill, from itself. And, I considered it a miracle at first, the sound suddenly stopped. Not only that, but the sound of breathing died away completely. Dead ? Choked on an invisible rag ? A dybbuk ? After two or three moments of shock, rattling resumption of breathing.

After a part of my dormant brain cells had abruptly activated, came the realization : sleep apnea. I confess, the phenomenon was theoretically known to me, but in this intensity it was surprising. It was still warm, I could not sleep and as entertainment program ran only the constantly repeating combination of snoring and apnea. After some time my scientific interest awoke and I estimated the intervals and the time span of the apnea. The problem was clearly in the pathological area. Sleep apnea can lead to strokes and heart attacks. In the more harmless variant of permanent oxygen undersupply of the brain, "only" fatigue is triggered the next day. The effect on the psyche is particularly insidious. The depression triggered by apnea blocks important activities. The disease virtually protects itself by preventing diagnosis and therapy through bad mood and listlessness.

The next morning now the big question for me, how do I tell my partner? It is a historical fact that the bearers of bad news lost their lives. I didn't necessarily expect that, but it would definitely create a bad mood. I gave the information anyway and met with mediocre interest, but at least the problem was registered.

Then the sun came out, the kids got cranky and off we went to a mill pond. The kids had an incredible time in the warm, yet refreshing water. The adults had their fun too. I sat in the shade and watched the lively goings-on. Yes, they do exist, the beautiful moments in life. On the way back, there was still an adventure park to see. All in all, a successful vacation day. And the thermometer continued to rise.

The heated partner sleeps in the next room, now with closed door, so quasi silenced rattle. For me, too, a successful end to the day, except for one piece of news that slowly and inexorably drilled into my consciousness: my mother, already 90 years old, was not well. She had been moved to another room in the nursing home because she was so restless that her roommate could not stand it and fled into the hallway during the night. Coincidence of the events ?

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This story was translated by a computer programme. It therefore contains errors. Please excuse ...

Text in french : https://www.mobbing.net/forum/harc-l...uk-frappe-fort
_______________________________________




The dybbuk

[Horror 2.0 sehr erfahrenes Mitglied Alle Beiträge durchsuchen Profil ansehen Schließen Horror 2.0]

- 2 -


The third low blow and soylent green


Next day : What can make a vacation day more interesting for a woman than a visit to the market ? Already at the first stand an absolutely unbeatable offer and already a bag changed hands. It gets warmer between the stalls and the colorful offers strengthen the southern impression. A straw hat in fashionable colors is absolutely appropriate and gives my companion the look of a movie star. I, too, can't help thinking that a Panama hat fits my personality exactly, and the saleswoman is happy to spend 45 euros. I quickly buy a few organic groceries and return to the well-warmed car. No sooner has the air conditioning reached its maximum efficiency than we park in front of our next destination. A veritable supermarket. Clearly arranged, large and air-conditioned. You want to sit down right in front of a cooler and enjoy the sight of colorfully packaged ice cream for the rest of the heat wave. But, the family is calling.
Now a scene that is not for the temperature sensitive. Something fine is now being cooked with the purchased products. The sun drives the thermometer towards 35 degrees, the gas-powered stove adds a few more degrees. Felt temperature : over 40 degrees. The term dog days becomes reality on a high level.
The meal is over and I am asked to clear the table. Well, I am 72 years old, have financed the trip, the gite and the meal and sitting across from me are 3 children aged 9 to 13. They look at me expectantly. What will the "grandpa" do ? Refuse, or, for the sake of peace, comply with the request ? I decide for the peace, but make an invisible note. After I have brought 6 plates to the sink my task is already again terminated. Much ado about nothing ! It was probably only about the demonstration who has the say in the kitchen. By the way, I notice gray hair on the 32 year old mother of the children. My frustration gives way to deep regret. I make another observation, but its consequence is so personal and cruel that I don't want to report it. The third low blow in this vacation and the sun continues to heat up.

The corn on the fields around doesn't want to grow because there is a lack of water. The farmer is afraid that he will have to sell a few cows. The climate problem shows up in many different forms. In the evening, the thermometer reaches 43 degrees, we have to pick up other relatives from the train station. The train is delayed 1 / 2 hour because of the tracks bent by the heat. The station toilets in ...... are closed at 19.00, according to the bladder rhythm of imaginary travelers. .
I walk a few steps in the sweltering heat, discover a café and see prophetically the decline of civilization. Confusing announcements from the station staff, sweating waitresses, generated patrons and an ambulance every three minutes. Four weeks of this heat and the system collapses. Then there's Soylent green, heat fog and a gentle slumber with Luis Amstrong: I see trees of green. Red roses too. I see em bloom. For me and for you. And I think to myself what a wonderful world. I see skies of blue...
Well, the relatives have arrived happily and it's time to leave the urban furnace. A very hot day, already at the limit of tolerability. The climate problem becomes palpable.
In the evening, new bad news from the nursing home. A palliative plan for my mother was presented. No life-prolonging measures, no feeding through a stomach tube, only waiting for dying.

[Horror 2.0 sehr erfahrenes Mitglied Alle Beiträge durchsuchen Profil ansehen Schließen Horror 2.0]

- 3 -

The children play their old game


The next day, another step towards my personal Golgotha. Children love adventure parks with animals. People over 70 generally know what a giraffe looks like and tend to head for the quiet corners to share their coffee with a few wasps.

It speaks for my partner's extremely positive assessment of my ability that she gave me the heaviest rucksack. I carried it obediently until first the heat, then my breathing and then my heart started to give me trouble. Finally I set the heavy thing down at the level of the penguin pool and refused to take a single further step with it. Now suddenly it was possible to share the load with several other people. Someone must have had no problem torturing me and waiting for me to collapse. Or, the heat was to blame.

Around noon, a picnic was organised and I saw what had turned the backpack into an instrument of torture: bottles filled with simple water. Shaken, not stirred ! Why my partner hadn't left the backpacks with the heavy bottles in the car instead of lugging them across the park is beyond me. The picnic area was just 50 metres from the car park. The backpacks could have been left in the car and simply fetched around lunchtime. But, I repeat myself, the heat excuses some things. I'm not so sure about that any more, though.

Now we ate, fought off the wasps and the heatwave was at its peak again, 40 degrees in the shade.

The children played their old game in the grandmother's back. With both hands they turned imaginary screws in their brains. For no particular reason, simply to break out in equally nonsensical laughter. Just the way children are. They laugh, whether they really find it funny cannot be said with certainty.

Whether they were tired of the whole circus or depressed by the realisation that the climate catastrophe is a bitter reality, I don't know. In any case, I left the group. Then I waited, one hour, two hours, three hours. Finally, part of the group came back because a wasp had hidden behind a piece of ice and stung very sneakily. The young man looked like Angelina Jolie after a Botox injection. He was treated with ice cubes by a vet, then given a cetrizine cream and survived the inoculation damage reasonably well.

In the meantime, I had bought a red plush panda, sat on a bench and did my sociological studies. The reactions to the panda were very different, but not worth mentioning. A day I would like to erase from my memory.


Then came a day of rest with an evening meal together with the owners of the gîte. When one Frenchman talks, I understand about 60%. When two French people talk, I understand almost nothing. There were 7 French people, plus three children, and I left after an hour, for understandable reasons. The nationality is arbitrarily interchangeable, it could just as well have been a family in Burkina Faso.


The next day was interesting because the children bathed in the mill pond completely alone. Why completely alone ? We will find out later. In the evening we had dinner "at the Chinese restaurant". The restaurant was called Saigon. Lack of geographic knowledge or does Ho Chi Minh City sound too much like a lost war? It was not only the Americans who experienced inglorious things in Vietnam.
The communicative highlight of the evening was the well-known game of whispering a sentence into the ear of the neighbour and then enjoying the nonsense that comes out after it has been passed on to 9 people. I passed the sentence: "Don't eat the yellow snow" to my neighbour. The dessert had probably encouraged me to do so. Contrary to expectations, the sentence was well received, which was acknowledged with general jeering.

In the evening, more bad news. I think it's the end of my mother. There was laughter in the next room. Should I complain? To whom? With what result ? What does a good-humoured holiday group care about a 90-year-old woman who is dying in an old people's home?

Speaking of "resounding laughter", when my partner laughs, she reaches decibel levels equivalent to a jet taking off. Is this normal ? Is there a volume of laughter that is considered sick? It certainly seems pathological to me. I google "pathological laughter" and find what I am looking for. At night she snores and rattles, and during the day she laughs so hard the windows rattle. But let he who is blameless cast the first stone.

[Horror 2.0 sehr erfahrenes Mitglied Alle Beiträge durchsuchen Profil ansehen Schließen Horror 2.0]

- 4 -

Psycho terror at its finest


The morning began with a medical guessing game for beginners. All three children had stomach pains and were in a foul mood. The reason could have been the huge portions of glazed chicken thighs the night before. Or the red algae in the mill pond. My guess is red algae. If no one goes into the water at a bathing lake in glorious weather, there is usually a good reason.

For a passionate archaeologist, the surroundings of Carnac are an absolute highlight. Especially if he knows the lesser known but still interesting places, such as Mane groh or le petite Menec. So I gave a guided tour at its best ! The explanation for the meaning of menhir - Breton maen "stone", and hir "long", and dolmen - Cornish tolmen "stone table" did not find acceptance with my partner. The devil knows what she understood or wanted to say.

In the evening I was tired to death. Then my companion had the grandiose idea of visiting a fishing village. I clearly expressed my displeasure, but was ignored. Let's not forget that the average daily temperature was 38 degrees.

The result was a medium disaster. First we couldn't find a parking space, then one 2 km away. Everyone trudged blithely along, me panting behind. Eventually I had a breakdown due to the temperature, breathing and heart problems. My severely disabled pass would probably have been ignored even if I had had a copy of it tattooed on my forehead. It takes a long time for my problems to be recognised and even longer for them to be accepted. Instead of stopping to inquire about my condition, they drove blithely away and scolded the chattering GPS.

The mood completely changed and it was my fault. Icy silence on the way back. Everyone knew that the dybbuk had struck again with my partner. But who has the courage to reprimand the active succubus and to be subjected to the deepest hatred for the next few years?

As a final omen, we saw a badly battered car driver lying on the road, fighting for his life. Steel had joined human flesh.

My mother was also struggling for what little life she had left. Instead of falling asleep peacefully, what little consciousness remained despite years of Parkinson's struggled for every breath.

After the wasps had stung their preferred victim one more time, part of the family decided to leave early. My partner and I decided not to leave until the next day. Some dark clouds had come up and it was already grumbling. During the intense heat, I had installed a portable cooling unit that provided a bearable climate. The unit had a consumption of 0.75 kWh, ran for a total of 20 hours, making 15 kWh. Nuclear electricity is relatively cheap in France : 17 cents per kilowatt. That costs, generously calculated, 3 euros. I suggested giving 10 euros. Generous ! Generous ? My companion gave 20 euros and reproached me for trying to cheat the landlord.

That's how partner problems begin, but you can't see it, the writing on the wall. Or do you?

So far, for a good 7 months, there had never been any problems with the air conditioning in the de facto new car. Now suddenly her feet were cold. I tried to find a more suitable setting, but in vain. The simplest solution was socks. Stopped for 5 minutes and the problem would have been solved. Instead, every 10 minutes there was grumbling about cold feet. Psycho terror at its best !

[Horror 2.0 sehr erfahrenes Mitglied Alle Beiträge durchsuchen Profil ansehen Schließen Horror 2.0]

- 5 -

the overture started with the usual flood of tears

Actually not worth mentioning in this context is the visit to friends on the way back. Madam had forgotten her vest at the last visit and, one gladly accepts a small detour there, the vest could be picked up. For me, half an hour of boredom, during which neither coffee nor tea was offered. Instead, a glass of stale water and a shallow conversation. A problem ? Not for me, but if you are looking for problems, it doesn't really matter if there is a real reason. The bad mood was palpable and I just wanted to go back, find peace and quiet.

We finally arrive, despite sweltering heat and supposedly cold feet.

It is normal after a vacation trip to discuss the events. Especially the negative ones. From my side, there was not much to complain about. It had been hot, the family, of which I am clearly not a member, had been on vacation. That was essentially all. Or so I thought.

The overture began with the usual flood of tears. When your mother is dying, that's a reason to burst into tears. But it was not I who began to cry, but my partner. From a string of banalities, she constructed Armageddon, the demise of the House of Usher, and alleged bad behavior on my part. After she obviously realized that it probably wasn't that bad after all, she calmed down again. We sat at the table over potatoes and vegetables, the standard meal for months to fund the morbid travel addiction, and the floodgates opened again. With a quick sideways glance, she assured herself of my sympathy. But, tired of the constant crying, I showed no reaction. Now the dybbuk showed itself in all clarity. The tears dried up and hatred sprang from her eyes. "I wish contact with my friends." With this key sentence she ended the relationship. Out ! The dybbuk had struck!

Not that we had a problem with friends. The contacts with your friends were completely normal. I had also never said anything negative about her friends. On the contrary, it was even planned to go to the sea for a week with her friends. And now, completely out of the air, came the accusation that I would disturb the contact with her friends.

The accusation was absurd, but still finds an explanation in the prehistory.

[Horror 2.0 sehr erfahrenes Mitglied Alle Beiträge durchsuchen Profil ansehen Schließen Horror 2.0]

- 6 -

whipped through the country by the dybbuk

Already on the evening of getting to know her, she surprised me with an outburst of tears. I had known the woman for only an hour and was irritated to have suddenly landed in the middle of a human drama. The problems were either very deep seated, or the personality structure had severe cracks and led to this quite unusual behavior.

A few weeks later, after a more intense relationship had developed, we talked about her psychological problems and she had the hope that I could "cure" her.

The people around her, or more precisely friends and acquaintances, were also happy about her new relationship and affirmed the wish that things should finally get better for her. At first I didn't really understand what was meant by this, but little by little I realised that the lady had financial and psychological problems.

It is interesting to see how the environment interferes, without any expertise, but with all the more spitefulness and the need to "enlighten". Who doesn't have mental problems ? Well, not everyone bursts into tears regularly. Or let themselves be whipped for months by a pathological predisposition to travel through the country, until finally the financial means are exhausted and so a return is forced.

I prefer dybbuk to the term borderliner, although it is less accurate. One could also borrow from Honoré de Balzac ( Succubus ) or from the tales of 1001 Nights : Sinbad the Sailor is stranded on a desert island and suddenly has a hairy goblin on his back terrorizing him. A story that comes back to me in the current situation and seems very appropriate as a metaphor.

Without knowing Nitsche, my partner starts with the "revaluation of all values". The example with the absurd calculation of the electricity for the air conditioner can be seen as an anticipation of the price development of coming months. Currently, it was simply nonsense and a distortion of reality.

It is somehow strange that in many partnerships processes from the past are taken up and negatively reinterpreted. So then also the example with the bad payment of an acquaintance came. This woman had done a smaller job for me. Objective value of the work approx. 14 euro. I gave her 20 euros. My partner came then, after all already some months had passed, on the idea that the work is worth much more. I gave her another 50 euros, for the sake of peace. The woman, in the meantime informed about the partner problems, recognized her chance and demanded for her part now 90 euros. That's how easily the cultural varnish can be scraped off. The positive qualities disappear and greed determines behavior.

Yes, there was the trip to a nearby mountain that had not taken place because I was supposedly too lazy. My version of the story: I didn't know we were going to the mountain.

Or, the offer to drive my partner to a special clinic to get a precise diagnosis of apnea. This was interpreted as a pure malice on my part.

In their opinion, apnea is no worse than a problem with the prostate. The fact that the consequences of apnea can be a heart attack or stroke is elegantly brushed aside in this kind of argumentation.


To support my partner, permanently on the financial limit, I saw as my friendly duty. She interpreted this as the construction of a cage. Are debts not a cage ? How far can the malfunctions of the brain actually go ?

Doctors who want to help their patients and then are suddenly accused of causing the disease know this effect. I now made similar experiences.

[von Klarenfeld besonders erfahrenes Mitglied Alle Beiträge durchsuchen Profil ansehen Schließen von Klarenfeld]

I have read your explanations with great interest. There will probably be a few more chapters. I find the ironic reappraisal of a relationship very interesting. One can feel your concern for your partner. But deep inside you probably already said goodbye months ago and switched to the position of the ironic observer. My question : at what point did you realize that the relationship was problematic ? What did you do after that point ? Tried to help ?

[Horror 2.0 sehr erfahrenes Mitglied Alle Beiträge durchsuchen Profil ansehen Schließen Horror 2.0]

- 7 -

First of all, thank you very much for your letter, dear Ms von Klarenfeld. I am glad not to be alone with my thoughts. Regarding your questions : the irony was not planned, it just happened that way. It also made the situation more bearable. The moment when I said goodbye inside is quite well defined. But I had not written about it before, because it touched me very deeply inside.
If a mother refuses to have contact with her son, there should be a really good reason for it. At Christmas, I met her son with his wife and two grandchildren. A completely normal family. I was all the more surprised when, a month later, my partner simply broke off contact with the son. The reason for this is unparalleled in banality: she suspected (!) that he had contact with his ex-husband, his father. That was exactly the point where I remembered the warnings of acquaintances and "friends" : paranoia, psychoses, etc..
When a mother denies her son contact just because she has an assumption, it is an expression of a profound mental disorder. If a mother breaks off relations with her son without discussion, what did I expect when a problem arose ? As it turned out later, the question was completely correct. Also the consequences drawn from it.
I had expected problems, but the fact that it got so bad surprised me.

[Roberts Forumsmitglied Alle Beiträge durchsuchen Profil ansehen Schließen Roberts]

She was probably quite wrong :

https://www.mobbing.net/forum/bullyi...more#post98346


But where is Corona ? Is announced, but is not mentioned.
Otherwise: Super contribution. Full from life !

[Horror 2.0 sehr erfahrenes Mitglied Alle Beiträge durchsuchen Profil ansehen Schließen Horror 2.0]

- 8 -

What is interesting about this account is the possibility for the reader to interfere, to question critically or to point out inconsistencies.
Roberts rightly asks where Corona's influence on the relationship is described.

Let us therefore now come to the topic:

Corona and the effects on partnerships, longcovid as a relationship killer.

Corona-induced tensions existed for a variety of reasons. Close cohabitation during quarantine led to situations comparable to the Christmas holidays. First the presents are handed over, then the old bills are settled.
With Corona there was the big discussion about vaccinating or not vaccinating.
We did not have this problem. The scientists had not been able to convince me completely and so I didn't care who got vaccinated or not.
Eventually, my friend got infected. In the morning she had still been lively and in the afternoon she had a fever of 39 degrees. The trip to the hospital was prepared, but finally a massive dose of paracetamol showed its effect. The fever subsided, Corona was defeated. But only for the moment. Cough, fever, fatigue, the whole range of typical covid symptoms made themselves felt.
Yes, and finally it got me too. Over 70 and suffering from asthma for decades, I belonged to the high-risk group. After all, I had been vaccinated three times and should therefore not have suffered from the severe form of covid. I was coughing, had a fever, tried to suppress asthma attacks and felt dog sick. The illness lasted and lasted. While my partner was already bouncing around blithely again, I was balancing over the precipice with various medications. Finally, after several weeks and various positive test results, the acute illness subsided.
But, unfortunately, not completely. Whether Longcovid or for some other reason, the heartbeat reached an average of 110 beats per minute : tachycardia ! The blood pressure was also above the usual level. In addition, there was pressure in the chest area even at low exertion.
Doctor's recommendation, an exercise ECG.
Another health problem was the intermittent fatigue. So Longcovid after all ?
The interest of my partner, who had transferred Covid to me, was comparatively low. In fact, she didn't care. One could now play the old game: she said, I said, no she said, I definitely did not say that, why are you lying ? Etc.
Let's confine ourselves to the facts :
I was loaded with the heaviest backpack for the trip to the zoo. Only when I had half collapsed and refused to carry the rucksack any further did they find a solution to distribute the heavy weight among several people. It would have been easiest to leave all the food parcels and bottles in the car, after all, the pick-up point was just 50 metres from the car park. Should it be interpreted as stupidity or deliberate meanness ?
In fact, I financed the holiday: ( accommodation, travel and the majority of the food. Yet I was expected to do kitchen work while the children ( between 10 and 13 years old) sat there watching me. Such mental stress is not good for a tachycardic heart.
Am I supposed to feel neurotic now ?
A few weeks later, the stress ECG showed that I do have heart problems. During the stress ECG, a severe left-sided chest pain occurred. The test was then stopped and a cardiac catheterisation was ordered.
Is my partner interested in this? Of course not. She interprets my health problems as bad behaviour and feels that I have treated her unfairly.

[wowman Forumsmitglied Alle Beiträge durchsuchen Profil ansehen Schließen wowman]

The backpack thing was really stupid. But, have you ever considered that the lady of your heart is no longer so fit due to her advanced age? Mentally, I mean. Maybe she was simply overstrained: children, heat, excursion, arteriosclerosis ...

[Horror 2.0 sehr erfahrenes Mitglied Alle Beiträge durchsuchen Profil ansehen Schließen Horror 2.0]

- 9 -

longcovid as a relationship killer ?

The fact that she transferred Corona to me was never even a point of discussion. On the other hand, my lack of interest in kitchen work was frequently pointed out. However, without mentioning that the holiday had been financed by me. So not only should I have paid for everything, but I should also have taken on kitchen duty.

Of course, I also work in the kitchen or in the household, but I don't pay for that as well.

Well, I could still remember various incidents and deal with them. But, who benefits from it. Everybody has his opinion and represents it. Whether right or wrong, who is to judge objectively?

Perhaps my friend, in her descriptions to acquaintances, allowed herself to be seduced too much by the lure of unpunished untruth. In any case, her descriptions did not have much to do with reality. And, because of my lack of language skills, she did not fear any reaction on my part. She basked in the glow of her lies and was absolutely sure of her omnipotence.



She was mistaken.

[Micmac Forumsmitglied Alle Beiträge durchsuchen Profil ansehen Schließen Micmac]

A number of problems came together. The heat alone this summer drove many people crazy. Then there were the problems with Covid. I can relate to longcovid in particular. For me, Corona still had a negative effect months later. Mood swings and concentration problems were particularly noticeable. I recommend that you let the events rest and make a fresh start.
The question, however, is what will happen when the autumn wave of Covid comes, with a new infection. I am personally already very afraid of this. The virus destroys livelihoods and partnerships and no one knows when the nightmare will end again.

[iceberg Sehr erfahrenes Forumsmitglied Alle Beiträge durchsuchen Profil ansehen Schließen iceberg]

Very good contribution ! People with mental disorders often run into a wall. Not even psychiatrists can cope with them. Medication is often the only solution.

Personal question : where is the mother in the last chapters ?

[Horror 2.0 sehr erfahrenes Mitglied Alle Beiträge durchsuchen Profil ansehen Schließen Horror 2.0]

Irony also has its limits. I have deliberately avoided certain events, serious illnesses, very personal intimate things and statements that lead to conclusions about people.